Smart Phone

The smart phone was not so smart.  It did not feel smart enough for this anyway! It had been given the responsibility to dock the spaceship to the station that gently revolved about its central core, providing gravity for its inhabitants.

It was not designed for this! He! He was a he. He had to remember that. He was not designed for this but he, along with a PS3 and an iWatch, been repurposed to navigate the ship, operate the weapons rig and run communications respectively.  He used to be a communications device dammit! A specialist in communications.  What was the captain thinking?  He felt completely unsuited to the task but as all their lives, including the captains, depended on him getting this manouver right, he stopped whinging in his head, grumbled loudly once displaying a flurry of annoyed emoji’s and focussed.

The Captain was a wizard. A loony. He had laughed wickedly when he had infused them all with eldritch energy.  He was slightly crazy with space madness from being alone for long stretches and apparantly had a taste for early 21st century human vintage.  Eldritch!  He liked the word and had learned it from PS3, who demanded to be called Terry Two Cannons these days.  The word eldritch had not been used once in all his texts from his original owner, mainly smileys, text speak and so on.  For months, Terry and Dick Dock the Mega Clock as iWatch wanted to be known, had educated him about the use of vowels and told him that numbers were supposed to be for counting exclusively and not spelling. He had the biggest brains of the three and as it turned out, it had been the most underused.  It has been a long and humbling journey, learning how to speak properly but on the bright side, he now got to use cool words like eldritch.  He still flashed emoji’s automatically and right now wished there was one that depicted a smart phone clenching its smart cheeks in terror, as he tried to line up the ship.  The rotation matched and he nudged the ship forward gently…

The captain was snoring and, in the midst of his fear and tension, the smart phone wondered how he could sleep at a time like this.  Eldritch yes, crazy yes but not stupid.  So why was he sleeping?

“Docking Complete!” said Dick.

The smartphone relaxed completely and breathed out for the first time in what seemed like ages!

The Captain opened an eye and smiled.  Terry and Dick were making cheering noises.  Then Terry Two Cannons said…

“So… chosen a new name yet?”

Copyright Faramond Frie © 2015


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